urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ana_girl64850 ana_girl64850 ana_girl64850 2007-11-16T21:20:57Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ana_girl64850:1565 2007-11-16T21:20:57Z 2007-11-16T21:20:57Z None <div class='appwidget appwidget-qotd' id='LJWidget_3'> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td><div style='border: 1px solid #000; padding: 6px;'><p>What song makes you rock the karaoke mic? </p><p style='font-size: 0.8em;'></p><br /><p><input type="button" value="Answer" onclick="document.location.href='http://www.livejournal.com/update.bml?qotd=79'" /> <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/misc/latestqotd.bml?qid=79">View 500 Answers</a></p></div></td></tr></table></div><!-- end .appwidget-qotd --> Songs by Britney Spears....I know I know pathetic but it's so much fun to goof off to her songs!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ana_girl64850:1452 2007-11-15T19:15:16Z 2007-11-15T19:15:16Z Radio... 92.5... some stupid song <div class='appwidget appwidget-qotd' id='LJWidget_4'> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td><div style='border: 1px solid #000; padding: 6px;'><p>What's the worst pickup line you've ever heard?</p><p style='font-size: 0.8em;'></p><br /><p><input type="button" value="Answer" onclick="document.location.href='http://www.livejournal.com/update.bml?qotd=77'" /> <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/misc/latestqotd.bml?qid=77">View 500 Answers</a></p></div></td></tr></table></div><!-- end .appwidget-qotd --> &nbsp;You know what would look good on you? ME! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ana_girl64850:1065 2007-11-15T19:00:12Z 2007-11-15T19:00:12Z Radio 92.5 some stupid song <div class='appwidget appwidget-qotd' id='LJWidget_5'> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td><div style='border: 1px solid #000; padding: 6px;'><p>What's on your Top 5 video games list?</p><p style='font-size: 0.8em;'></p><br /><p><input type="button" value="Answer" onclick="document.location.href='http://www.livejournal.com/update.bml?qotd=78'" /> <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/misc/latestqotd.bml?qid=78">View 500 Answers</a></p></div></td></tr></table></div><!-- end .appwidget-qotd --> 1. The Sims 2<br />2. Fable<br />3. Halo 3<br />4. Guitar Hero 2<br />5. Need for Speed Underground Black Edition urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ana_girl64850:945 2007-11-15T05:39:05Z 2007-11-15T05:39:05Z None <p align="center">&nbsp;I want to be perfect.<br />Why can't I look like her.<br />I'm disgusting.<br />Ugly, fat, weak.<br />I must have control.<br />Only I have the power.<br />I want the unattainable.<br />I hate my self.<br />And I hate my mirror.<br />I hate my scale.<br />I must become thinner.<br />The pain is hardly there anymore.<br />If I can just push myself a little bit more.<br />I want my only imperfection to be my disorder.<br /></p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ana_girl64850:564 2007-11-15T05:15:44Z 2007-11-15T05:15:44Z none &nbsp;<p>I've been suffering from low self esteem my entire life. I've been diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety, and mild OCD. I've had suicidal thoughts for years and years. On and off different meds and in and out of different therapist's offices. School made everything worse. I started cutting in 9th or 10th grade and entered treatment for that. Things got better for&nbsp;a bit. In the 11th grade my anxiety got so bad I couldn't even go to school. I missed an entire semester and finally got back on track when I enrolled in an alternative school. I did great for a while and then I went down again. This time with drug and alcohol abuse. I got expelled my senior year. But I got up again. I got my GED and started college. Down again....I dropped college due to anxiety and depression and because I don't really know if it's what I want. My life is so full of ups and downs. GOSH!</p><p>I don't think I've ever told anyone besides my mom just how much I hate my body. I've hated my body ever since I can remember. I've always been the overweight girl compared to my friends. It got pretty bad after I hit puberty which was really early. I was nine. All my friends got to wear these really cute clothes and I couldn't because I was too big. I hate swim suit shopping more than I can possibly tell you. The humiliation of buying something marked "XL," or the frustration that the cute swimsuits aren't&nbsp;made for me. I used to lie about my pant size if anyone would ask me because I ws so embarassed. How would you feel if your had to disguise what you ate for lunch because you didn't want any of your fellow seventh grade classmates to know you weren't drinking chocolate milk it was SlimFast.&nbsp;Most of my life I've worn baggy t-shirts and jeans and isolated myself to avoid judgement.</p><p>I've always been obsessed with wanting to lose weight. All I feel is guilt when I eat something even if it's the only thing I've eaten in two days. I'm not sure why I'm suddenly being so open about this. I don't want anyone's help or sympathy. I'm clearly well overweight but I do have some sort of eating disorder with anorexic characteristics. But I am in no way thin.&nbsp;Recently it's gotten worse just suddenly. I just feel better finally putting this out there. I want it off my chest. I just want people to know and I want to talk to other people with the same problem. I really wanted to just pour my heart out.</p>